How are you? Oh, it’s been a while since I asked how really are you.
I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss how we talk things over when you feel like nothing is going right. I miss how we would just go to places we don’t know just because. I miss how we really want to pursue our dreams. I don’t know if I’m sad but things had been different lately.
How’s your heart now by the way? How’s your healing process? Really surprised that we’ve never talked about it lately. What happened? Are you healed already? Though I’m glad that you are not talking about it always already.
Self, I know you are not okay. We are not okay. Can we talk? Just like before?
I know you want to talk about many things. I’ve seen you cry a lot of times already but this one’s different. You won’t talk to me. You don’t want to know why are you feeling that way.
Why can’t we have the time?
I know you want to tick all tasks on your to do list. But I hope we can talk these over. We don’t want to rush things, I know you.
I know you, Self.
I’ve seen how you love so much.
You have the capacity to love with all your heart, mind, and spirit. You have a very hopeful heart that keeps on saying that things will be okay soon even if everything’s a mess. You have a joyful mind that can turn a sad day to a joyful one. Self, I am proud of you for being yourself.
But lately, you’ve been feeling so down. And self, we clearly know the answer.
Can we just stop being so distracted for a while? Let’s talk. Let’s do this right. Going around and around the circle will never help us go back to the right path.
Self, I will never condemn you.
I know you’ve been suffering lately because of the past mistakes that you’ve done. Hush now. I understand.
But more than anyone else, our Father knows us. Every little detail of us. You know that. Though we all have our struggles and pains, even if we hurt Him again and again for the same exact reasons, even after all the lies, the decisions that aren’t aligned to His will, isn’t it amazing and overwhelming that He still sees us as His precious daughter?
I know I can hear you shout ‘Why, Lord?’. Self, because He loves us so much! Self, we will never be separated from God because He is our Father. Our Father who suffered so much for us because of His love for us.
Self, in the middle of this heartbreak, know that our Father will never forsake us.
Let go of that burden; of that thought that you are incapable of doing things for His glory because of that pain, of those past mistakes. He is still in control of our life, self. He still holding us in the palm of His hand (Psalm 139:10)
Self, let’s go back now.
Your better half,