High school memories were one of those moments that we will never forget. Those were the times when we have experienced many ‘firsts’ in our lives — first crush, first pajama party, first dance, first frustration, first kiss, first love and of course, first pimple (for me, lol).
And with all those ‘firsts’ there are people beside us whom we have shared our smiles, laughter and tears with — our best friends. High school best friends are far different from our other best friends met in college or at work. They somewhat have different level of, let’s just say, craziness.
Back in our high school years, we’ve made many crazy, funny and adventurous things! Why? Because we are all so carefree! We don’t care that much if we don’t have enough money for snacks; because a single stick of fish balls can already make us happy! We don’t care that much when we laugh so hard inside the tricycle; because we know we are genuinely happy! We don’t care if we are on the beach the whole day under the sun; because sunburns are nothing to us then!
But do you know the time when we started to care about everything? It’s when our crushes finally entered the scene. HAHA.
But let me just ask you a question. What happened now? Where are they now?
Hmm. Thinking? You are lucky if you know where they are right now or what they are doing. Oh. Maybe you are asking why you are still lucky, eh? Because sometimes, there are ‘bestfriends’ who just wandered off not saying even a single word or goodbye, not knowing that they now do not intend to come back.
Here are some of the reasons why your high school best friend became an Ex-bestfriend:
1. Lack of initiative to communicate.
“Remember the times after high school graduation? You said we will stay the same.”
This is the first line of the letter I wrote to my ex-best friend — that was never been given. We are four in the group. We have been so close before. We have had our ups and downs but still, we forgave each other, moved on and still shared laughter and tears.
But then after some several years, we started lacking the initiative to communicate with each other. The other two remained the same. But for the other one, we somehow feel that we are no longer part of her new life.
Honestly, I thought it would still be the same. But as time goes by, after I had some chances to communicate with her, I feel that she is willing but I still don’t know what hinders her until now.
It has been years and now, we feel like we are total strangers to her. Not a single ‘Hi!’ was ever heard or read, not a single ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy New Year’ was ever greeted, not a single ‘Happy Birthday’ directly from her was ever heard of.
The lesson I have learned from this is to always make time to even just text or say a single ‘Hi. How are you?’ to your friend. It will help a lot. I swear.
2. We forget to understand.
We are from the province of Masbate and I am the only one who studied here in Manila, a more or less fifteen-hour travel to our province by land and sea while all three of them studied in Albay, a more or less five-hour travel by land and sea.
We only meet each other face-to-face every vacation, that is, if all of us got the chance the go home due to exhausting summer classes, endless duties and many others.
But when all of us had the chance to go home, we usually go to each other’s places, go to the beach and shared new and of course, old stories. However sometimes, we usually forget to understand that we also have our own lives and even families to be with.
“Ganyan ka naman talaga eh. Minsan na nga lang makauwi, di ka pa sasama sa amin sa beach ngayon.”, “Hindi ka na naman nagpaparamdam.” Have you heard of this? Sounds familiar?
Sometimes, we just have to understand certain things happening to our friends. Did you try to ask her how is she doing? Because we might not know, maybe our friend has problems that she is not telling. And with those words of discouragement and never ending questions, your friend will now think that you will never understand. And that is when the walls between you and her start to grow higher.
Again, we have to understand. Think before we react. Probe. Listen.
3. We became a bully.
We never want to have a bully best friend or even just a friend. At first, we thought it’s just alright because everyone is laughing, everyone is happy!
But you know what? Everyone is happy except the one that you are always bullying.
You may see her laughing all along but deep down inside? She is definitely not okay with those laughter about the way she speaks or the way she dresses or the senseless mistake she did.
Always think before we speak. Yes, we are the best of friends and we know everything happening in each others’ lives but we have to take note that we have to slow down sometimes in laughing each others faults. Because if that ‘sometimes’ goes ‘always’, feelings will change and will cause misunderstandings and finally the end of friendship happens.
Best friends are God-given gifts. They are our so-called sisters/brothers from another Mother/Father. However, many times, we tend to forget how blessed we are for having best friends that will stick through thick and thin. We sometimes forget to know what is happening in their lives now because we thought everything is still the same when in fact, everything has changed already. We sometimes didn’t mean to hurt their feelings because all we care is our own.
So today, our next step maybe is to reach out to those people whom we have called best friends before. Let go of pride and start anew. Remember that once in a while, they have been part of you.